Wolfi recently announced during snack time at preschool that his “favorite fruit” is Lucky Charms.When I arrived, unsuspecting, to pick him up on that particular afternoon his teacher, Ms. Kyla, could hardly wait to tell me. His announcement to a group of juice-sipping four-year olds was simply too delicious not to share.
His favorite fruit? Declaring it his favorite cereal would have been bad enough, but his favorite fruit? A few days later I found a flyer at the bottom of his backpack. It was damp from some unidentifiable liquid which had leaked out of his sippy cup, but despite some smearing, I could make out the dates for an upcoming Family Health Symposium led, it seemed, by a nationally acclaimed dietitian Obviously the folks at preschool were trying to tell me something. When I confronted them about it, I was told that I had already been signed up for the Saturday session.
My new-found reputation as Lucky Charm maven was especially puzzling given the fact that our pantry is devoid of all boxed cereals, let alone ones filled with sugar and geared through cheerfully animated leprechauns at gullible four-year olds. Instead, Marc and I subsist on batch after gigantic batch of homemade granola. Indeed our pantry is so full of bulk boxes of oats, nuts and dried fruit that there is no room for cereal in the first place. It goes without saying, perhaps, that Wolfi would not touch our granola for all the gold in Ireland. Not given Pop Tarts or Lucky Charms as options, Wolfi instead breakfasts on a single banana cut meticulously into rounds and washed down with some Ovaltine.
Yes, Wolfi, much to his dismay, has the grievous misfortune to be born to parents who actually care about what he eats. I am sure you know the kind, and chances are you either love them or hate them. They are the ones who present their long-suffering children with a wide array of wholly unappetizing fruits and vegetables on a daily basis. The kind that plead and bargain and bicker at the dinner table over at least trying new foods. The kind who refuse to buy the Cheetos in the grocery store despite the fact that “all the other kids” have them. And most egregious of all, the kind who mercilessly dilute apple juice with water.
Such has been Wolfi’s fate since the eruption of his very first tooth when I stoically began pureeing fruits and vegetables for him in the baby food maker, and he, with as much steely determination, spat them right back out at me. And heck, even his Gaga (a.k.a. grandmother) who keeps him in a steady supply of Oreos when he comes to visit has yet to be caught with a box of Lucky Charms in her cupboard. Yes, I was pretty certain that the only place where Wolfi could possibly have ever been exposed to something as nutritionally spurious as Lucky Charms would have been at -- you guessed it -- preschool. Even if no one fessed up, I was sure that it was within those hallowed walls that he first experienced the Styrofoam-like squish of pastel marshmallows between his painstakingly scrubbed baby teeth.
A few weeks later the truth came out about the Lucky Charms Incident, and my reputation was restored. They were apparently part of some harmless St. Patrick’s Day festivities when one of the teachers brought them in for snack time along with some green fruit. Wolfi happily linked the two together and has probably been wondering ever since why Lucky Charms are only reserved for preschool holidays?
Clearly if my son and the cereal industry could have their way, we would be eating three to five magically delicious servings a day.
Magically Delicious Granola
I make this so often that I have the method down to an exact science. You will need a kitchen scale, a huge bowl and a large rimmed baking tray lined with bake-o-glide or parchment paper.
Ingredients:
510 grams rolled oats
210 grams nuts (I use whatever needs to be used up. If I am in the mood to chop them I do, sometimes I just leave them in whole or in halves!)
50 grams brown sugar
100 milliliters raw, local honey
60 milliliters canola oil
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon kosher salt
2-3 cups dried fruit. (Again, I tend to use whatever needs using up. But cherries and apricots are an especially nice combination. Cut the apricots into little bits with your kitchen scissors. I never actually measure the fruit here either. I just keep adding until it looks right.)
Set large bowl on scale and add all ingredients except for the dried fruit. Mix with your hands and spread into prepared baking sheet. Bake on bottom grid of Roasting Oven for about 10 minutes until just starting to brown. Stir. Move to top of simmering oven for another 30-40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Marc likes this a little on the burnt side. You just have to experiment to see what suits you best. If you are short on time, you can even bake it in the roasting oven with the cold shelf, but you will have to watch it more carefully.
(For conventional ovens, bake at 300 degrees for about 40 minutes, stirring every ten minutes, or until golden.)
Remove from oven and add fruit to the pan. Mix and allow to cool before putting into a pretty glass jar.
Thanks to a recent edition of MENTAL FLOSS magazine, I learned that the best way to serve granola (or any boxed cereal for that matter) is to shake the container sideways before pouring. This helps to keep the mysterious small crumbs from falling to the bottom and all the large chunks of fruit and nuts from rising to the top.
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